


The One Where Pete Is Jealous Over A Fish

by Popples123



Series: Pete/Mikey/Patrick AU [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Asexual Character, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, ace patrick is back, asexual patrick, can we have a petition for Ace The Fish to get his own character tag, pete is jealous over a fish, petemikeypatrick, peterickey????? sounds like a type of sauce tbqh, the fish is called Ace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 00:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11070351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popples123/pseuds/Popples123
Summary: "You're - you're jealous over a fish because you think it's stealing your boyfriend away from you?"~~~~~~Patrick impulsively purchases a fish, Pete gets insanely jealous, and Mikey is completely done.





	The One Where Pete Is Jealous Over A Fish

**Author's Note:**

> LMAAAOO Y'AAALLL GUESS WHO HASN'T SLEPT AND IS DRAGGING ASEXUAL!PATRICK AND PETEMIKEYPATRICK OUT OF THE GUTTER AT SIX OCLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING? YEP, IT'S ME!
> 
> I wrote this as a joke but I actually kind of like it? Enjoy!!
> 
> [Also this is technically a sequel to You're Not Broken if you want it to be]

Mikey can sense something is off as soon as he arrives home from his overtime shift because normally on Friday's, Pete and Patrick would be found cuddling together and watching movies on the sofa, but tonight all the lights in the living room are off and the house is eerily silent.

Using his phone as a torchlight (because _no one_ in the right mind is going to walk in pure darkness to the other side of a room just so they can switch on a lamp), Mikey tip-toes across the living room, heart dropping to his stomach when the floorboards in the hallway creak loudly because shit, is there an intruder? What if Pete and Patrick have been murdered? What if Mikey goes upstairs and-

The light switches on without warning and Mikey lets out the shrillest scream that's so loud, the person standing ten feet away screams too.

"Mikey, what the fuck?!"

Mikey makes eye contact with Pete but instead of checking him out and making a horribly cheesy comment, Mikey can't look past the tearstains on his boyfriend's cheeks. "Pete, have you been crying? What's wrong?"

"Patrick bought a Betta fish," Pete says.

"Uh... good for him?" Mikey responds hesitantly, not understanding how this relates to the current issue. "Why were you crying, though?"

"Patrick bought a Betta fish!" Pete sounds scared and Mikey frowns in confusion because why is Pete getting so upset over this? He's never expressed hatred towards fish before and it's not like Patrick has brought home an animal that requires lots of effort to look after. In Mikey's opinion, fish are the easiest pets in the world to take care off. He doesn't see the problem here.

"Pete, how is this an issue? Are you allergic or scared of them or something?" He asks and when Pete looks down, ashamed, and goes to speak, Mikey assumes his suspicions are right and he continues talking. "I'm sure we can convince him to return it to the store if he's not too emotionally attached-"

"That's the problem," Pete says in a small voice. "He is attached and-"

"Okay, okay." Mikey pauses to think for a few seconds. "Maybe he can just put it in the guest bedroom. That way he can still keep it, but it won't bother you."

"No, Mikey." Pete inhales a shaky breath. "The problem _is_ that he's too attached."

"What?"

"He hasn't even kissed me today and he bailed on our movie tonight so he could sit with that fucking fish and make sure it's 'settling into his new home' or whatever it was that he said. It's a fucking tank filled with water! Of course it's settled! We're going to lose him, Mikey!" Then, Pete lowers his voice to a whisper. "We're going to lose Patrick to this fish."

Mikey makes a noise of confusion and looks at Pete like he's absolutely insane. "You're - you're jealous over a fish because you think it's stealing your boyfriend away from you?"

"Yes? That's what I just said. Did you even listen to me?" Pete throws his hands up and Mikey rolls his eyes, pushing past so he can go upstairs.

"You're an idiot, Pete." Mikey stops walking when he reaches the stairs and turns to his boyfriend, who is still stood in the living-room doorway. "I can't believe I've let you do half of the shit you do to me. Its times like these when I understand why Patrick doesn't let you fuck him."

"Wait, Patrick's asexuality is just an excuse?"

" _Pete_." Mikey's voice reaches a whole new octave. He didn't realise Pete's paranoia levels were this bad. "I was joking. It's called sarcasm. Are you drunk or something? Patrick would never lie to you about that. It's a _fish_ , Pete. A _fish_! Take your medication and go the fuck to sleep. You're overreacting." Pete looks hurt at Mikey's words so the younger walks over and gently pecks him on the lips to comfort him. "I love you. Now calm down before I punch you."

He walks into the hallway and begins his trek up the stairs, deciding to go into the bedroom to see what the Betta fish is like. The clock on the bedside table shows that it's only been ten minutes since he got home and oh my _God_ , how can so much drama kick off in such a short amount of time?

Patrick is lying upside down on the bed on his side, with his feet on the pillows and his head resting on his hand as he stares into a small rectangular tank that has a tiny black speck swimming around in it. Mikey edges closer and Patrick, realising his boyfriend's presence, awkwardly twists around and smiles at him before turning back to the fish tank, which Mikey guesses is about five gallons.

The fish inside is a dark blue-black colour with large fins. The bottom fin is a pale orange, just like the tail, and the fin at the top is a similar colour to its body. Mikey loves it.

"Cute," he says.

"I know right!" Patrick sounds like an overly excited child getting what he wanted on Christmas morning and Mikey's heart melts. "A friend of a friend was selling five of them but only four people actually showed up, so he begged me to look after this one until he could find someone who'd take it, but then I saw the lil guy and was like _fucking hell, I'll take him_ , so I did."

"Trust you to impulsively buy a fish. You know most people do that with things like food or clothes, right? You never cease to amaze me, Patrick."

Patrick lets out a quiet giggle and rolls onto his back. "His name is Ace."

"You called your fish _Ace_?"

"Yeah, 'cause Kiss, asexuality, and because the fucker is plain awesome. So yeah, I called him Ace." Patrick grins again and Mikey just shakes his head, laughing softly, and he goes back downstairs to check on Pete.

Said man is on the sofa, hugging is knees and watching something that Mikey wouldn't have taken any interest in if it weren't for the fact that Tyler Young is on the screen. "What's this?"

"Eyewitness. It's got my two favourite things - homosexuals and homicide. I recommend."

"Okay... I'll be adding that to the long list of quotes I'm handing over to the police if you ever get accused of murder..." Mikey tails off and walks towards the kitchen. "I'm going to order a pizza because judging by the obviously _tragic_ dilemma that occurred in your life when your boyfriend bought a _fish_ , you were too hurt to make dinner. Am I correct?"

"Yes," Pete says glumly.

"Right. Do you have a preference or can I just order whatever?"

Pete shrugs, mumbles "whatever you want," and leans back on the sofa, closing his eyes. The TV show he's watching is still playing and Mikey wonders if he should lecture Pete about saving electricity but decides against it. He's already sad and although it's because of a stupid reason, it doesn't need to be made worse.

Once the order has been placed, Mikey goes back into the living room and is surprised to see that Patrick has appeared and is curled up on the armchair. Mikey wonders why he's chosen that seat instead of cuddling up against Pete on the sofa like he usually does.

Leaning down and keeping his voice at a barely-there whisper, Mikey asks Patrick if everything is alright, but the only response he gets is Patrick's eyes glaring daggers at an oblivious Pete.

"Is something wrong, 'Rick?"

"Pete's mad at me and won't tell me why."

"Peter Lewis Kingston We-"

"Finish that sentence and your throat is getting slit, _Michael James Way_." Pete doesn't divert his eyes from the television but Mikey can see the ghost of a smile playing about on his lips.

Patrick seems to be content with the TV show Pete has on - Mikey's forgotten the name of it already - so Mikey decides to approach his black haired boyfriend now. He sits as close as what is physically possible and brushes his nose against Pete's neck before gently kissing the skin.

"Are you still jealous about this fish?" He says a little too loudly and Patrick leans forward, a puzzled look on his face.

"I'm sorry but did you just say Pete is jealous because of my fish?"

"Believe it or not, you heard me right." Both Mikey and Patrick burst out laughing and Pete slumps into the sofa miserably.

"Stop bullying me."

"You're jealous because of a fish? Oh my God, that's fucking gold!" Tears are forming in Patrick's eyes as he jumps out of his seat. "I'm going upstairs and calling Joe. That's amazing, holy shit."

The second Patrick is gone, Pete turns to Mikey with a serious expression on his face. "Mikey, we need to talk about this."

" _Pete._ " Mikey doesn't sound amused.

"No, I'm serious! The more attached he gets to that fish, the more detached from us he becomes, and then what will happen?!" Pete waits for a response but there isn't one, so he answers the question himself. "He realises there are better things to do with his life than live here with us, and then he's off in the blink of an eye!"

The blonde male edges towards the door, desperate to go outside and smoke instead of listening to this. "With what you're saying to me right now, I wouldn't blame him for a second."

"Mikey!" Pete's voice is so loud that it makes Mikey jump and for a second, his mind is convinced that this is a serious argument until Pete says, "Lets kill the fish while he's sleeping."

"So you're a murderer now?"

"It's a _fish_."

"Exactly, Pete. It's a _fish_. Listen to what you're saying; you're being a fucking idiot! It was funny at first but now you're really pissing me off! If Patrick wants a fish, fine. If he wants to blow us off so he can chill in the bedroom with it, fine. If he starts spending his money on tank ornaments, fine. It doesn't concern us. Patrick's happy with it, I'm happy with it - you're the only person here that has a problem with it."

"That's because I'm not blinded with lies! No wonder you and Patrick need glasses!"

The way Mikey glares at Pete would have him dead on the floor in three seconds if looks could kill.

"Wentz, you're verging on getting slapped." The threat is meaningless - Mikey would never lay a hand on Pete to hurt him - but the sharpness in his voice still has Pete shrinking back. "What the fuck has made you so insecure that you're in a genuine panic all because one of your boyfriends has bought a fish?"

Originally, Mikey is nothing other than irritated, but when Pete mumbles, "Nothing, I'm just being stupid," in a somewhat miserable tone of voice, Mikey suddenly grows extremely concerned.

"Is there a deeper meaning to this?"

Pete shakes his head. The movement is too fast to be truthful.

"There is, isn't there?" Mikey speaks gently now and even brushes his hand against Pete's, as if to say _although you're an idiot, I'm still here to make you feel better._

Pete remains silent. His eyes are focused entirely on the curtains that are drawn back, and Mikey takes a step back.

"I honestly have no idea what could trigger a reaction like this over Rick buying a fish but whatever's bothering you, I'm here, okay?"

The silence stretches on for a painfully long while until Pete finally let's out a shaky, "Okay."

"Okay." Mikey smiles and kisses Pete's neck before turning away to check on Patrick and discover what the reactions of his friends were. He knows better than to force the issue out of Pete. When Pete wants to talk, he'll talk. Until then, all Mikey can do is worry. And also try to stop Patrick hysterically laughing whenever he thinks about Pete being jealous over a fish.

-

Six days pass before the subject is brought up again. In that short space of time, Patrick has already spent a worrying amount of money on decorations for the fish tank _and_ he's bailed on two movie nights so he can read next to the fish. Mikey isn't bothered at all because hey, Patrick is happy, but something is clearly bothering Pete and it doesn't come as a surprise to Mikey when the whole ' _I want to throw this fish into the fucking ocean and watch it get devoured by a shark'_ topic is brought up again.

It happens on the Thursday evening just after Mikey has turned the bedroom lights out. Patrick is in a deep sleep on the middle of the bed and Pete is lying on his side with his face smushed against Patrick's chest. He appears to be asleep, too. Only until Mikey crawls under the duvet and immediately hears the sound of someone shuffling around, that is. He knows right away it's not Patrick, because he's currently hugging said boy and if he weren't aware of the fact that Patrick is a very heavy sleeper, Mikey would think he's dead because he isn't moving at all, not even to breathe.

"Pete? I thought you were asleep." Mikey sounds exhausted and on any other night Pete would most definitely allow him to close his eyes and sleep, but tonight is different.

"I want to die, Mikey," Pete states so bluntly that Mikey almost shrugs the whole sentence off before his sleep-deprived mind registers the meaning behind those words, and he's suddenly sat bolt upright and is reaching for the bedside lamp.

"What the fuck?" He says all in one breath as he switches on the lamp. "Why? I thought you were doing okay, it's been eight months since you last told me that-"

"Patrick cares more about the fish than me."

Now, Mikey genuinely wants to swing the lamp over the back of Pete's head repeatedly until he's on the brink of death, because _who_ in the right mind scares the life out of their boyfriend by making statements about death all because of a _fish_.

"Don't look at me like that, please Mikey." The shakiness to Pete's voice is the only thing that convinces Mikey to hear him out before getting too mad. The silence presses Pete to continue. "I'm being serious. I know it's just a fish but, like, it's supposed to be the three of us, and I miss our movie nights and him taking me on dates without cancelling at the last second because he's not got enough money after buying a log for the fishtank, y'know?"

Closing his eyes to conceal the fact that they're unintentionally rolling to the back of his head with annoyance, Mikey reaches over Patrick's motionless body to grab Pete's hand.

"Pete, listen to me," he starts off in a serious voice and holds eye contact with him. The usually bright, lively brown eyes are brimmed with tears and even though it's over what Mikey can confidently call the dumbest reason ever, he still feels an agonizing pang of sympathy for Pete. "Like I said on Friday, Patrick is happy and that's what should matter. _But_ , if you're not happy, take it up with him during the day instead of giving me the fright of my life at quarter to one in the morning saying you want to die."

When the first tear slides down Pete's cheek, Mikey is convinced that there's definitely something more to this.

"Pete, be honest, what's bothering you? I promise I won't laugh. Here, pinkie promise." The pair have used the 'pinkie promise' thing for years as a completely honest symbol of trust and both of them take it far too seriously to use it lightly, so Pete knows Mikey is being truthful when he does the action. "Tell me what's up."

After gulping and inhaling a shaky breath, Pete says, "I'm really scared he's gonna want me out of this."

"Out of what? The relationship? What on earth instilled that thought into your head?"

Pete runs a hand through his freshly washed hair and drops eye contact. "I don't think I make him happy anymore. Like, if a fucking _fish_ can make him smile more than I can, what does that say about how I treat him?"

For a second, Mikey simply stares at Pete as if he just grew an extra head, but the way Pete awkwardly fiddles with his hands that are resting on his legs shows that he's being serious about this.

"Okay..." Mikey starts and breathes deeply before continuing. "What makes you think you don't make Patrick smile?"

A small shrug and then Pete lies down on his back. "Ever since he bought it - it's called Ace or something, right? - yeah, well, ever since he bought it, he genuinely acts like he doesn't want to be around me and yesterday when Joe came over I overheard Patrick telling him that he felt out of place around me and-"

"Do you think that maybe this has something to do with the fact that you've been irritated all week about the fish to the point where you isolated yourself from him for days and he kept coming to me asking what he was doing wrong?"

No response.

Mikey takes that as his cue to continue. "Because trust me, Pete, Patrick's just as paranoid as you are."

The very last thing Mikey expects is for Pete to cry so it comes as a shock when that happens. He puts his head in his hands and rolls onto his tummy in an attempt to muffle his cries with the pillow, but Mikey can hear him loud and clear and it isn't long until Patrick wakes up because of it.

He looks around, confused and still half-asleep until his eyes focus on Pete's shaking body. "Whassup w'Pete?"

Mikey leans close and whispers into Patrick's ear, "Please just hug him and tell him you love him."

"Why? He's been a dick all week-"

" _Please_ , Patrick."

The desperation in Mikey's voice causes Patrick to cave in and he hesitantly wraps his arms around Pete's slender waist and forces him to kneel up. As soon as he's upright, Pete turns and hugs Patrick back ten times as hard, buries his face into Patrick's shirt and cries until his voice goes hoarse. And despite Patrick's confusion and repressed anger at Pete's recent behaviour, he continues holding the black-haired man.

Eventually, it stops. It's been twenty minutes and Mikey's eyes are burning with the desire to sleep, but he forces himself to stay awake so he can make sure the others resolve their conflict.

"What was all that about?" Patrick finally asks. Pete keeps his eyes trained on the mattress.

"Pete, remember what I said about talking it out with him...?" Mikey asks gently and rests his hand on Pete's thigh.

"Talk what out with me?" Patrick suddenly sounds very worried and Mikey quickly reassures him that it's nothing bad, just Pete overthinking too much. They sit in silence for another long minute before Pete starts talking.

"I thought you hated me," he says simply, and Patrick tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"Why?"

"Mikey..." Pete whines and the tremble in his voice indicates that he's going to cry again, more so due to anxiety than anything else, and Mikey decides he'll take one for the team and explain this to Patrick.

"Go to sleep," he instructs Pete before facing Patrick. "He was upset because he thought he couldn't make you happy anymore after watching how happy something as simple as a fish made you, but don't worry, I made sure he knew that you were sad over his sudden coldness towards you as well."

Patrick sits still for a while, allowing this new information to sink in, and his hand slowly starts playing with Pete's hair as he thinks. After around five minutes, he says, "Only your mind would convince you that a fish makes your boyfriend happier than what you do," and the humorous tone of voice elicits a laugh from Pete. "Don't be an idiot, I'd never not love you. It's just that you were so... distant this week that there really wasn't any reason to smile."

Mikey shoots Pete a look that screams, _I told you so_ and Pete rolls his eyes before smiling at the ceiling.

"Thanks, guys," he says. "I needed this."

"You needed to have a half-hour long breakdown that scared the shit out of everyone so you could be assured that your boyfriend loves you more than he loves a fish?" Patrick asks and Pete laughs even harder. It even draws a smile from Mikey, too.

"Yeah, obviously," Pete says as Patrick lies back down and pulls the duvet over the three of them. Pete goes to speak again, presumably to discuss some ridiculous topic that can only be discussed in the early hours of the morning, but Mikey cuts him off before he can make a sound.

"Don't even start with your rants about why being an assassin is a reliable and secure job. I don't care, my eyes are literally on fire and if you so much as _think_ about disturbing me, I'll personally hire an assassin to slaughter you."

Pete and Patrick exchange a look and fight back laughter as Mikey shifts around until he's comfortable, with his arms around Patrick's waist and his fingertips only just brushing against Pete's arms. For a minute or two, Pete considers going off on one of his infamous rants, but Mikey is out cold and Patrick is snuggled up against him and dozing off too, and even Pete, who's the same guy who got jealous over a fish, would have to be a whole new level of crazy to kill this mood.

"Rick?" He murmurs once he's sure that Mikey's fully unconscious.

"Mhm?"

"You really love me?" Pete's voice is fragile but calm, and it's a gentle reminder for Patrick that Pete is okay.

 

A soft sigh sounds from Patrick's mouth and he slings one arm over Pete's tummy. "Of course. Both you and Mikey, more than anything."

"More than Ace?"

At the mention of his fish, Patrick perks up and he suddenly has a very good pun to try out. "You Betta believe I love you."

Pete laughs before he can help himself. "Patrick! Don't make me laugh, I'm being serious."

This time, it's a quiet giggle. "Yes, Pete. More than Ace."

Strangely, that's the most comforting sentence Pete has heard all week, and for the first time in days, he drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face and a warm feeling inside his chest.

Maybe he can forgive the fish for temporarily stealing his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a trip to write.
> 
> Feedback is greately appreciated as always!! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> p.s i was too tired to think of a proper title so if anyone has any ideas pls let me know!


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